In The Good Ol' Summer Time

It's here again. That dreaded time of year. Adults work hard to rid themselves of a few extra pounds gained over the winter months, and children start daydreaming of school being out for the summer. I look despairingly at the spare pillow I have acquired over the winter months and I too promise to lose a few pounds before swimsuit season arrives.


Life seemed so much simpler when I was a child, water was fun and sunshine felt great. Now all I do is sit by the pool, and burn. Who messed up the childlike system for summer? I blame it all on the clothing industry. Shame on you for designing swimsuits that shrink in water! And what were you thinking with the thong bikini? I don't mean to sound old fashioned. But when did it become a necessity to show everything I have, outlined with dental floss? Let's face it, not everyone has the body of Christy Brinkly. I know I don't have any chance of ever fitting into a suit that reveals a midriff not unless Goodyear goes into designing.

Pardon my outrage at such atrocities, but where are the women with imperfect bodies who love water as much as I do? - Hiding in their backyards with a water hose, that's where. And just where do you think those men with jolly old Saint Nicholas style bellies are? - I'd really like to know, I can't find their hiding place anywhere, and I'm jealous.

Children really do get away with simple summer pleasures. No worries about flabby guts, or thunder thighs. They just laugh and play. Even early teenage years seem to be preoccupied with how they compare to their peers, but at least if they don't think well of themselves, they don't let it spoil their fun.

Perhaps the time has come to start a new trend. Throw out those thong bikini's and burn those designer nightmares, and come put on a T-shirt and shorts like me. We'll play the way we did when we were kids. Grab those inner tubes, bring out those flip flops and silly straw hats, and pack up the kids in the ol' mini van and head for the water. Get wet, and remember what it felt like to splash around like an idiot in the sunshine.