What is Christmas?

For too many years we have listened to the Christmas commercial hype telling us we must have this, or must do that to have the perfect Christmas. But Christmas isn't about material things. Putting aside for just a moment the reason behind Christmas, Jesus birth, the holiday is about spending time with loved ones; family and friends who care about you. It's about the imperfections that make us laugh and cling to each other when all we want to do is give up, or cry. Christmas is a celebration of our support groups in life. The acknowledgment of the love we give and get everyday. So what are you doing for Christmas this year? Are you rushing around trying to make everyone else's Christmas special, or are you taking time to be with them and create Christmas memories?

Remember the times when you made Christmas cookies, played with wrapping paper, sang to your children at bedtime, gave and received hugs with relatives and opened your heart to the possibilities in life. Don't give up on the joy behind Christmas just because the wallet has more room than usual. Teach the young to make things, to visit neighbors and family; encourage traditional love. The best thing about Christmas is the feeling of being loved by someone else.

So is Christmas in the wrapping paper, the bows, the gifts? Or is Christmas in the arms that hold those gifts? My favorite memories were the ones when we as a family tried over and over again to get the Christmas picture right; often with lots of wonderful mistakes! I hold on to those memories like gold. To me that is what makes Christmas.

Even Trustworthy People Get Tempted

Once in a while something comes along that makes you stop and pay attention.  It can be something simple and seemingly unimportant or very big and obviously tempting.  Where is the line that says it is 'ok to want this, it isn't really that big'?  Somewhere in our childhood we found that line (if we are lucky).  A moment of clarity about the temptation and its being wrong to give in.

For me it was stealing a piece of gum from a small grocery store at the age of ten.  Luckily guilt kicked in and I returned later and apologized to the store owner.  It is easy to be judgemental about others doing things we wouldn't do because that line is highly personal.  Everyone learned where the line is, in an approximate not exact term and all the lines are based on personal bias.  It is just as easy for an Amish child to be tempted as a big city kid, or a preachers kid.  True character must come from how we deal with the realization.

Now that we've wrapped out minds around that thought, try this one.  Why do we give ourselves permission to cross that line?  We adjust it based on personal bias.  I think it is a fundamental tool we use to 'hone' our ethics.  Unfortunately it often can be used the wrong way and we 'allow' ourselves to 'fudge' over the line because we think it won't do any perceived harm.

Is this the reason we have murderers and theives?  Have they crossed the line so many times they can't find it anymore?  I would imagine that relearning it is harder than maintaining it... and once you habitually cross that line you're then always fighting to find it again.

In the end we pay consequences for our actions.  I think we weigh those against the temptation to see if we are willing to pay the price.  Hence that extra piece of cake or extra hour of TV when we should be doing something else.  It might also explain why we as Americans tend to eat so much.

Fingers in the Dirt

The joy of gardening. Is that really what it is? I admit from time to time I like to putter in the dirt. Planting an herb garden or tomatoes for summer. But I often grow tired of it and move on to something else. It could be several years before I plant again after growing a bountiful crop of items on the porch. I had a house once where I toiled over the yard endlessly. It was funny. I started off enthralled by the yard, and then year after year the mowing, planting, pruning and weeding became such a heavy burden, that I rented the house out and moved to an apartment!

There is nothing more wonderful than picking something you grew and then eating it, cooking it or giving it to an appreciative friend. To bad you can't bottle that kind of feeling. It would be a better pick me up than the mood elevating herb St. John's Wart. I dare say it would last longer.

Maybe what I'm really talking about is just playing. Kids play in the dirt; kick it, sculpt it, throw it, build with it and chase things in it. Maybe I'm reliving a part of my childhood when I 'let' myself play in the dirt for awhile. I can put things where I want, be creative and artistic with trinkets, use tools to construct and destroy and if I'm lucky it adds beauty to my environment for awhile. I'm lucky to live in a green part of the country. Where trees, grass, flowers and critters abound. I don't have to do much to enjoy nature. I think if I lived in the desert that would be a different matter. I'd probably have to have one of those inside gardens. Something with trees and walkways. Here I just have to sit on my porch and enjoy. I feel pretty lucky. In the summer I can hear the birds chirping and the rustling of small animals moving through the trees and grass hunting for food. I can hear the trickle of a small nearby stream and somehow, everything is alright. So maybe the puttering in the dirt is just my bodies way of making sure I stay close to nature. Either way...there's nothing like having your fingers in the dirt.




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Chrissy and the Mole Cricket

For kids of all ages, there is a special interest in animals. Some kids adore them, wanting to hug and squeeze the life out of them. Some want to keep them in their pockets to look at later, and there are those whose reaction to animals is fear. Often these reactions are the result of experiences that happen when the child is small. For instance, any kid who is frightened by a dog, will most likely be scared of dogs for most of their adolescence. If this is not dealt with, the behavior can carry on into adult life. Let's face it, all of us have at least one animal we don't want to be around. Mine just happens to be snakes.


As an adult, I know this fear is irrational. I know I could easily work through it, if I wanted to, but let's face it, I really don't want too. Knowing that, I can understand why children have a tough time learning to overcome fear. For them, fear is a self-defense mechanism. For me, it is s darn good excuse to avoid snakes.

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with a friend who we will call Chrissy who was eagerly telling me about one of her husband phobia's (newlyweds!). He had been riding a horse with a buddy of his when he was 10 years old. Both he and his buddy were thrown from the horse, and he landed on a fence. Chrissy claims that, "to this day, he won't go near a horse..." When I talked to him about it, he said, "Well yeah, but I don't like snakes either." (Guess whose side I was on...)

To her credit, Chrissy did tell me about a phobia I had a healthy respect for. She told me of waking up one night to find a mole cricket sitting on her pillow touching her face with its feelers. "It scared me to death! I knocked it off the pillow and jumped up squealing..." Hey, I happened to think this is a legitimate phobia. And men, if you don't agree, I suggest you watch the movie 'Arachnophobia' by yourself one night in a dark house.

Slowly building up an exposure to the animal/bug is usually the cure. Start with pictures and information (like the encyclopedia), and work your way up to the real thing. This could take anywhere from two weeks, to two years. Just take your time and the phobia will work itself out.

As for children, help them to see the animal/bug in a positive, friendly way, and bring them into multiple contacts with the animal. For instance, if they see that not all dogs are mean, or not all birds bite, they will lose part of their fear naturally. Do remember that you can never force a child (or an adult) into contact with an animal that they're afraid of, it only makes the fear worse. For instance, I went about trying to cure myself of 'snake-a-phobia' the wrong way, and I ended up getting bit, so now I really have a good reason for hating them...

Fascination

The wonder in a child’s eyes is very misleading. Adults ooh and awe, but they forget that the child is really thinking things like, “wow, that’s so shiny- I wonder if I touch it what it will feel like and can I play with it without getting in trouble?” I can almost imagine little boys thinking, “I wonder what a fire cracker would do to that…”

Growing up with boys as playmates can be interesting and scary. I remember always playing war games and having to be the nurse. I also remember watching D.L. throw an M-80 at my uncle and blowing his tennis shoe in half. To this day he still brags that he had to duct tape his show back together because grandpa wouldn’t buy him a new pair until school started. (Let this be a warning to parents who think it’s ok to let kids play with firecrackers without supervision).

Playing with the boys was sometimes frightening but when they weren’t there it was so dull! I remember going into my uncle’s room snooping and looking around. I wanted to sit on his bed, so I picked up his penny jar to put it on the floor and accidentally dropped it. To this day he complains about that broken jar. I mean I tried to clean it up – just because I missed one small piece of glass…

In The Good Ol' Summer Time

It's here again. That dreaded time of year. Adults work hard to rid themselves of a few extra pounds gained over the winter months, and children start daydreaming of school being out for the summer. I look despairingly at the spare pillow I have acquired over the winter months and I too promise to lose a few pounds before swimsuit season arrives.


Life seemed so much simpler when I was a child, water was fun and sunshine felt great. Now all I do is sit by the pool, and burn. Who messed up the childlike system for summer? I blame it all on the clothing industry. Shame on you for designing swimsuits that shrink in water! And what were you thinking with the thong bikini? I don't mean to sound old fashioned. But when did it become a necessity to show everything I have, outlined with dental floss? Let's face it, not everyone has the body of Christy Brinkly. I know I don't have any chance of ever fitting into a suit that reveals a midriff not unless Goodyear goes into designing.

Pardon my outrage at such atrocities, but where are the women with imperfect bodies who love water as much as I do? - Hiding in their backyards with a water hose, that's where. And just where do you think those men with jolly old Saint Nicholas style bellies are? - I'd really like to know, I can't find their hiding place anywhere, and I'm jealous.

Children really do get away with simple summer pleasures. No worries about flabby guts, or thunder thighs. They just laugh and play. Even early teenage years seem to be preoccupied with how they compare to their peers, but at least if they don't think well of themselves, they don't let it spoil their fun.

Perhaps the time has come to start a new trend. Throw out those thong bikini's and burn those designer nightmares, and come put on a T-shirt and shorts like me. We'll play the way we did when we were kids. Grab those inner tubes, bring out those flip flops and silly straw hats, and pack up the kids in the ol' mini van and head for the water. Get wet, and remember what it felt like to splash around like an idiot in the sunshine.