Ok, story time for all good girls and boys...
(and all frog lovers everywhere!)

The Little Blue Frog

Once upon a time in a country far away there once was a company that created a little animated short to display their amazing creativity and ability to help companies advertise. It's inventor, Erik Wernquist, also known as the amazing frog tamer decided to use a little blue frog. The essence of the short digital story was the ability of the bored little blue frog to use his imagination and create a 2 cylinder motorcycle on which to play. He is so successful that the imaginary motorcycle takes off with him on it!

What a wonderful little frog. So cute but so...naked. The little short (made in 1997) was called 'The Annoying Thing'. This short was seen by lots of people who so enjoyed it that they told their friends, who told their friends, who mentioned it to a few million people. The result? This little blue frog became known as 'Crazy Frog'. A company contacted Erik and suggested he market the little ugly thing, to which he promptly replied..."Really? Seriously? hmm, well, ok, but I don't know who would buy it."

In the meantime, realizing that so many people were beginning to ask for more of the little blue guy, he created a music video based on the song from Beverly Hills Cop. And so was born the 'Crazy Frog' epidemic. From little videos to dolls that ding ding, to posters, cd's and a hundred other marketing ideas (which include ring tones) an empire was born. About which a much richer Erik Wernquist smiles, while scratching his head still trying to figure out what it was that made people really like his cute little animation.

Here it is... the original. I might want to remind you that he is wearing a vest and nothing else... something I didn't notice at first viewing...which was more than 10 years ago. However, the debate when the marketing reached America raged on, and many of his American appearances have the small appendage simply air-brushed out. Please don't be offended, remember that the culture in other countries is a lot more liberal where advertising is concerned and for the Netherlands-it is considered extremely tame and children are allowed to view it unsupervised.

http://hem.bredband.net/turbo2/the_annoying_thing_320x256.mpg

And here is the first music video Erik created:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE

Long live Crazy Frog! Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Gazing into the Square

Why are we so fascinated by animal shows? We will watch hour after hour as crazy people go delving into woods, crevices, holes and waters looking to show us things we never want to come face to face with! We hover eagerly waiting to see creatures chase and catch prey as large or larger than we are... and wanna see more!

I admit I'm one of those fascinated by their habits. I love to see these crazy people put themselves in harms way. Humans are the most insane, most dangerous, most moronic, most intense creature out there. And we love to watch people get into the strangest situations. We laugh, gasp, cry and get frustrated right along with them as they struggle and survive the worst we can throw their way.
We invent fanciful methods of trouble and put them in it and when logic won't save them, we invent new ways of dealing with the trouble we created. And we love it!

"Oh look! Its a deadly flesh eating bacteria infected spider! Lets see if I can get this little fellow to crawl over my hand. If we're lucky, he may even bite me!" Moments later we're eagerly waiting to see if the hospital has the anti-venom. Have we as a species reached an insane madness, or are we just testing ourselves to find our own limits? I'm not sure. I find myself drawn to several conclusions however, one of them being I'm missing my show by writing this (turning to watch as crocodiles try to drag down a gazelle).

It's little wonder that we're willing to surrender to those things we consider safe. Home, TV, food, family, traditions and spending time by sharing stories. Maybe we're just wishing we could be as brave as they are...but aren't we really? I think it takes more bravery to stay the course and believe in yourself, trust in love and care about others around you. But... I'm missing my show...(turns to see a crocodile lung at a man holding a baby)...oh, It's ok, I've seen this episode.

There's Nothing Like it!

I am never surprised by the demands of the world on the human body. I mean lets face it, there's nothing like really having to pee when you can't get off the phone! The fact that we race higgledee piggledee to work everyday, and then calmly walk in the door like we weren't just huffing and puffing in the parking lot to make it through the door on time is something we expect. We sacrifice the well being of our bodies and minds in tiny bits for the things around us that we feel are worth it.

Nothing wrong with that I guess, but lately I've been wondering how much of a toll those little things have on the human body. Are they the reason I'm deteriorating? Can I blame my little aches and pains on my little abuses here and there? It can't possibly be that I'm getting older....no, it must be something else!

When I was young I often looked at my hands contemplating the smooth skin. To me they lacked character. Now I look at them and think, 'ok, that's enough character, now stop getting older'. Little lines and wrinkles, achy joints and dry cuticles make them look and feel far older than I'd like. But I can't really blame them on daily activities. Its just old age creeping up on me. I'm turning ## this year (and yes I'm not telling!) Having reached and passed the 40 mark, I look at my life and am pleased at how I have lived it...for the most part.  I'm ok with the marks of time that give my body a sense of character. I just wish I could get rid of this nagging feeling that something else is gonna droop or stopping work right in the near future!

It is almost like Mother Nature is hanging around the bend waiting to sprinkle a few more wrinkles and age mementos the moment I get around the corner. I just wish I had an arsenal to fight her off. I'd hold up my bazooka like cannon and state in a loud, authoritative voice, "Ok, don't come any closer. I'm good. I have all the character I need! Back off and let me enjoy where I am right now' ...Bang! Wouldn't that be fantastic. I think I'll just sit here and daydream about that for awhile...

When does the makeup come off?

I had a conversation with my guy the other day. I asked him if he minded me not wearing a lot of makeup. I used to never leave the house without layers of it on. Sometime in college I stopped wearing it either for 'making my life easier' or because I got lazy. My hair was always perfect and I kept hair spray in my purse. Now I use it maybe once a month if ever and as for makeup, maybe a little lipstick and mascara but that is it... He says he doesn't mind, but I wonder.

There's something about the freedom of 'wash n'go' that our society loves. We've learned to cut corners in order to economize out time. I wonder where all the time we saved actually went. I think its out there hiding with all the lost socks, lost keys, and lost minds.
 

Slanguage

The English language is loosening up. I found out not long ago that there are some slang words that are now listed as real words in the dictionary. My fascination with this began when I found out that 'Ginormous' became an official word last year. Apparently they were able to trace it's usage back to WWII. Ergo now it is part of the English language. So I started thinking about all the slang words I've heard recently that one day might become 'real boys'. There are different types of slang. Like the abbreviations you find in instant messaging or e-mails. There is also the dialect slang which is localized and is really an attempt to rewrite the language. Then there is common slang. That's the one where words you use seem appropriate but they're not considered dictionary worthy yet. I've made up a list of three types of common slang. Words that actually made it into the dictionary as permanent, words that are listed in the slang dictionary and not the official dictionary base, and words that aren't even listed in the slang dictionary yet. I've listed the year they were traced back to when available...I hope they make you smile like they did me!

Words that haven't made it yet:

Chillax (chill + relax)
Ba dink a dink (small human rear)
Ba donk a donk (ample human rear)
Etact (tactfulness in using electronic communications such as instant messaging)
Gestimation (guess + Estimation)
Jingo Jango (ridiculous)
Sitch (situation)

Words that have made it to the slang dictionary:

Wussy (wimp + pussy)
Homie (local pal)
Janky (old and broken)
Krunk (wild and exhilarating)
Bazillion (billion + gazillion)

Words that have officially made it to English language:

Phat (terrific, great) trace back to 1960
Dude and Dudette (buddy, surfer slang) trace back to 1991
Slanguage (slang vocabulary) trace back to 1900
Spim (instant messaging ads) trace back to 1999
Grody (disgusting) trace back to 1960
Groovy (really cool) trace back to 1815
Zilch (zero) trace back to 1966
Ginormous (giant + enormous) trace back to 1948
Babe (small child) trace back to 1150
Babe (girl) trace back to 1915
Psycho (abbreviated Psychopathic) trace back to 1935
Cop (police officer) trace back to 1695
Funky (odd and smelly) trace back to 1784
Edgy (highly irritating) trace back to 1837
Scram (to run away quickly) trace back to 1925
Spud (potato) trace back to 1400
Cash (paper money) trace back to 1590
Freebie (free item) trace back to 1940
Grungy (filthy) trace back to 1965
Bonkers (insane) trace back to 1945
Spork (spoon + fork) trace back to 1909
Boo Boo (injury or mistake) trace back to 1954
Caboodle (lot or group of things, as in kit and caboodle) trace back to 1840

Umbrella Anyone?

Do you carry an umbrella? Being prepared is always a good thing even if most of the time it is inconvenient. I used to carry those folded plastic rain bonnets because my grandmother used to carry them too. Come to think of it I used to carry cough drops for the same reason.
I'm sure I'm not alone in saying that things I used to do "just in case" I stopped doing a long time ago. Why? I honestly think I've determined that the law of averages showed me it was better to be prepared on days when I knew rain was coming. Otherwise I'd be carrying tons of stuff everyday, hunched over and grumbling. Or better yet, become a hermit and never leave the stuff! Yeah, I'd probably be the hermit (grin). I like being prepared. Years ago when I still volunteered every summer to work at camp, I was the dorm mom who had extras of everything. One year I realized people had stopped bringing as much stuff because they knew I would have it if needed. I think that's when I began to reduce the level of stuff I'd allow myself to bring.

It felt nice to be needed but honestly the work involved didn't balance well with the little appreciation it received. I'd stopped doing it for me...

Now I weigh the balance to see if it's worth the effort to be prepared or just 'wing it'. Did that come with age or experience? I'm not sure, but I do know that I don't stoop over with the weight of expectation anymore. What happens, happens and I'm happy to just be alive, in love, and healthy....and find that stick of gum I've been digging for in my purse!

Do You Remember?

Oh those TV shows from when we were younger! Depending on your age many of you can say you saw TV in black and white. I heard a comment made from a young friend of mine who wanted to know if black and white TV was a new feature! I think he thought it had something to do with digital 3D (grin). I was just glad I wasn't drinking a beverage at the time! Do you realize that those graduating from high school this year were born around 1992/93! I was dropping out of college around that time.


Shows I watched as a youngster were mainly in color and were fun and not very creative. Some of my favorites were Gilligan's Island, Alf, Silver Spoons, Doogie Howser MD, Mr. Belvedere, Night Court, Growing Pains and Family Ties. Reruns of 80's shows kept me going through the 90's but now I'm having to find new stuff to watch. I'm really not too impressed. Most of what is out there are cop shows and criminal investigation shows. Nothing to make you laugh, when really in this economic state we could use a lot of laughter to lighten the load. I remember an old movie (not sure what the name was) where a film maker who was adamant about making dramas gets somehow messed up and ends up in jail. There he learns that life's stresses are eased by laughter and that the public craves this release because it bolsters hope in a better future. He leaves jail and starts making comedies. I loved the premise of that movie.

There is a place to everything under the sun, from drama to comedies. The real key is to find a balance in what you watch, read, listen to or create that helps you keep your balance. Something those graduating this year should keep in mind. Congratulations to you, and keep your head in the clouds!

Short Haired Old Women

I was sitting in a restaurant (yes I was alone) reading and eating from a buffet when a thought occurred to me. I've been growing out my hair again and I found it much more of a burden to primp and style than when I was young. So the natural train of thought moved too 'do others as they get older trim their hair to shorter lengths'? A brief survey of the room confirmed that there were no older ladies in the room with hair longer than the bottom of their ears.

I then scanned for younger women and sure enough, the younger the person, the longer the hair. Have I stumbled onto a psychological surety in our society? I wasn't sure so I started up a conversation with a woman who was sitting nearby. Her reasons were multiple but when boiled down really only meant it looked better and was easier to maintain.

Perhaps the hair thing is more about learning to be more efficient as we get older. I remember when I was young and worked for hours on my hair to get it to look 'just so'. Tons of hair spray and mousse, teasing and curling and posing to see which style had the best effect. Poofy was in...so was mohawks and bright colors like vibrant purple and shock blue. The 1980's weren't known for fantastic hairstyles, more for their ability to shock (grin). Not so much now. Even as I am growing it back, I fight the urge to cut it short again. I'm always pulling it out of the way into a pony tail or bun and I avoid the mousse and hair spray all together. I tease my boyfriend telling him it's for him so he can run his fingers through my hair (which I really like), but really its because I've gotten lazy about my hair.

I can't deny that I look younger and somewhat more attractive with longer hair. Why then do I fight it so much? I've come to the conclusion that my reasons for fighting it center around boredom. I've moved on to worrying and playing with other things and my hair just doesn't interest me like it once did, and this is good. Can you imagine a woman in her mid-forties in a bright shock blue mohawk... then again...

Rental House Blues

So the rental house is evil.  I mean, every time I get some stability financially it is like it knows and says, "YES! Now I can get a new..."  This time it was the A/C.  Cost me $1600!  Now I have no savings and a happy house.  Is this what it is like to be married to a big spender?  Always wondering what next big ticket item is coming?  I hope not.  If so, you have my sympathies.

I used to love the house.  Its quaint charm is why I bought it, and felt at home the moment I walked in the door.  But with leaking windows and leaking basement and this and that, it all has become a bit overwhelming.  I do have twelve years of fond memories in that house, but all I can think of now is selling it and letting someone else appreciate its beauty for awhile. 

I admit I had blinders on when I bought the house.  I kept telling myself that I would have no problem fixing the little things that I thought were just cosmetic.  Little did I know that the former owners were 'weekend warriors' who tackled repair work without a clue how to do it properly.  For example, after moving in I decided that the ugly baby blue carpet had to go.  So I set to work removing the carpet by pulling up the carpet tacking.  When I reached the fireplace I found that where they had built the cute little concrete and tile area had been framed by wood.  Wood that they had hammered into the floorboards right through the carpet!  In order to remove the carpet I now had to remove the frame and rebuild the tile area edges. 

In the bathroom they put wallpaper directly onto the drywall without painting, so when I went to remove it, off came the top layer of drywall which of course now had to be replaced, mudded, sanded and primed.  So as you can see, every project became a nightmare of one step forward and three steps back.  My heart was slowly beat into submission over the years and my quaint little one story 900 square foot fairy tale cottage became a burden rather than a pleasure.  It has earned the title 'money pit'.

Which is also the title of a very good movie with Tom Hanks.  I empathize with the characters struggle...a lot.

Boy, Girls and Allergies

I have to admit I’m not attracted to boys. Not that I’m gay or anything, I’m not attracted to girls either. But I think the core problem is an allergic reaction to testosterone and the silly ideals it seems to put into a guy’s brain.

I actually had a guy tell me one time I’d be even more beautiful if I wore more makeup. I usually only wear mascara and a light lip stick or gloss. As a test I wore lots of make up the next day and he never even noticed. You see, it’s all in the perception of the opposite gender. I am not attracted to boys. I am attracted to men who have matured beyond glitz and glamour and want a real woman by their side. However, there seems to be a shortage.

To be honest I’m not petite or shy, and definitely not flowery or fluffy. You won’t find me in a lacy dress, but I am strong, curvy, and competent. I can change the wax ‘O’ ring on a toilet, mow the yard, clean out the cat box, and yes, I have my own power tools. (Odd, that sounds like a commercial from the seventies.) But I do have my moments of feminine creativity. For example, I crochet, bake, primp, scrapbook, wear lipstick and shave my legs. (Which for some reason is totally fascinating to my cats.)

I find it hilarious when a woman is afraid to change a tire. It simply is a choice. You either choose to be vulnerable, or you choose to be sturdy. I can’t fathom being in the middle of nowhere and waiting an hour for some man I don’t know to ‘come to my rescue’ wearing overalls. That seems more dangerous to me than changing the tire. My father made sure when I started driving that I knew how to change a tire and check the oil. Now don’t get me wrong, if I have a choice someone else does the dirty work…My mother on the other hand taught me that I can do anything, unless a boy is in the room, but that’s a whole other story.

True inner beauty is not looked at by the world as a worthy attribute these days. But I remind you that what the world thinks isn’t worth much. Some men from the middle-east believe that women are property- hiding their faces from the world and killing them if it suits their purpose without consequence. Some women in France don’t shave armpits or legs but are still considered incredibly beautiful. Women in Africa have ‘loops’ in their ears to define how beautiful they are, the larger the loop the more beautiful. Alaskan women are judged a great deal by their eyes.

American boys think they like the vulnerable, petite kind of girl, the one with the perfect hair, figure, and face. However, every guy I met that has married one, complains about how she can’t seem to do anything, or complains about why doesn’t she look like she did when they got married. (Odd you know, they never seem to realize that they also change in appearance after marriage…) Perhaps they don’t realize that now she has grown a personality. Or maybe they are allergic to personalities. It makes sense.

Personally I got tired of watching boys drool over girls like that, it’s all a fabrication you know, and ‘you get what you pay for’. Girls of this caliber seem to have no true personality anyway. Their identity seems to be based totally on the approval of others. They would spend countless hours in the bathroom doing makeup or hair that would only last a few short hours, unless of course you put so much goop in your hair that it becomes as strong as concrete. (Yes, I lived through the 80’s when egg whites were even used to get that ‘just so look’.)

I never had (and still don’t have) the patience. I’d wash and dry my hair styling it with the hair dryer and never spray it with anything. My hair was always soft, bouncy and shiny. But apparently being able to run fingers through a girl’s hair is also an allergy boys seem to suffer from. If they could only see the layers of ‘fake’ that models and such put on and how they airbrush the rest in magazines they would soon see the fact that no girl ever looked that good.

Of course, I have my ‘allergies’ too. I just feel my allergies are somewhat more realistic. I want a man who likes to hold hands and hike together. One who wants to ride bicycles with their partner and raise children; not a boy with high ideals and his feet in the clouds. Any one know any?

Chrissy and the Mole Cricket

For kids of all ages, there is a special interest in animals. Some kids adore them, wanting to hug and squeeze the life out of them. Some want to keep them in their pockets to look at later, and there are those whose reaction to animals is fear. Often these reactions are the result of experiences that happen when the child is small. For instance, any kid who is frightened by a dog, will most likely be scared of dogs for most of their adolescence. If this is not dealt with, the behavior can carry on into adult life. Let's face it, all of us have at least one animal we don't want to be around. Mine just happens to be snakes.


As an adult, I know this fear is irrational. I know I could easily work through it, if I wanted to, but let's face it, I really don't want too. Knowing that, I can understand why children have a tough time learning to overcome fear. For them, fear is a self-defense mechanism. For me, it is s darn good excuse to avoid snakes.

I recently had the pleasure of chatting with a friend who we will call Chrissy who was eagerly telling me about one of her husband phobia's (newlyweds!). He had been riding a horse with a buddy of his when he was 10 years old. Both he and his buddy were thrown from the horse, and he landed on a fence. Chrissy claims that, "to this day, he won't go near a horse..." When I talked to him about it, he said, "Well yeah, but I don't like snakes either." (Guess whose side I was on...)

To her credit, Chrissy did tell me about a phobia I had a healthy respect for. She told me of waking up one night to find a mole cricket sitting on her pillow touching her face with its feelers. "It scared me to death! I knocked it off the pillow and jumped up squealing..." Hey, I happened to think this is a legitimate phobia. And men, if you don't agree, I suggest you watch the movie 'Arachnophobia' by yourself one night in a dark house.

Slowly building up an exposure to the animal/bug is usually the cure. Start with pictures and information (like the encyclopedia), and work your way up to the real thing. This could take anywhere from two weeks, to two years. Just take your time and the phobia will work itself out.

As for children, help them to see the animal/bug in a positive, friendly way, and bring them into multiple contacts with the animal. For instance, if they see that not all dogs are mean, or not all birds bite, they will lose part of their fear naturally. Do remember that you can never force a child (or an adult) into contact with an animal that they're afraid of, it only makes the fear worse. For instance, I went about trying to cure myself of 'snake-a-phobia' the wrong way, and I ended up getting bit, so now I really have a good reason for hating them...